Ninja Narwhal Coffee Company FAQ - Part I

Ninja Narwhal Coffee Company FAQ - Part I

February 21, 2016

Ninja Narwhal Coffee Company FAQ... Everything you ever wanted to know, so grab a coffee and take 10 minutes to absorb. As you would expect, there tends to be a 'slightly' different perspective for a ninja narwhal apprentice.

Question 1:
How do you choose the roasters which appear on your site?

Ninja Answer 1:
'We' are but ninjas who serve the Legendary Order and do not have the power to choose. The roasters who appear on our site were chosen by our ninja narwhal masters...whose coffee mission has them continuously searching for (and finding) the best coffee in the universe! To more fully understand, please read the history here...…/8135251…

Human Answer 1:
We narrow our focus on specific roasters ‘The Order’ deems worthy. In the human world that means things such as AMAZING coffee, great service, great presentation, great website, great reviews… but from the perspective of ‘The Legend’ it is all in context with ‘The Order’s’ approval.


Question 2:
Where do you get all of these coffee gift cards for these amazing roasters?

Ninja Answer 2:
Our ninja narwhal masters are not completely 'of this world'. The have all of the traditional skills and abilities of human ninjas as well as a plethora of supernatural abilities granted to them during their fateful transformation documented in the origin story linked in this post. Super speed, super strength, shapeshifting, levitation and coffee reward creation are just a small number of those amazing abilities utilized for the purpose of connecting coffee lovers with their ideal roast as crafted by the LEGENDARY roasters on our site.

Human Answer 2:
We buy them! We decided that rather than putting excessive $$ into multi-channel ads, we would focus on putting our $$ into tangible stuff that our customer base would appreciate. (who doesn't love free coffee?!) Our 'slippery ninja tactic' is to give you the opportunity to taste some of the best coffee in the universe in hopes that you will get permanently hooked on the elevated brews and become lifelong customers! (coffee is legal, so this is an acceptable strategy...)


Question 3:
OK, so you are buying coffee gift cards from these fantastic roasters and giving them how do you guys intend to make money then?

Ninja Answer 3:
Money?! HAH! What we do is not for the purpose of monetary reward! Every action we take is in support of our ninja narwhal masters mission to connect coffee lovers with their ideal roast! Our passion is coffee because the Legendary Order of the Ninja Narwhal thinks only of one thing day and night... the best coffee in the universe and finding the legendary roasters who provide it!

Human Answer 3:
Just like the ninja answer, our passion is coffee and every action we take is in support of our mission to connect coffee lovers with their ideal roast! While we have a flexible roaster subscription model, lets be honest... it is our humble honor to be able to play a part in the roasters marketing operations. All of the roasters on our sites are legit, have huge grass roots followings and nationwide fans, authentic operations and Einstein-like coffee knowledge born from decades of seeking mastery in the coffee domain. (seriously, they will blow your mind!)

Our hope is that by providing customers with an easy to use coffee finder which makes it simple to find your coffee unicorn (your ideal roast) that you will continue to utilize our site as your favorite coffee ecosystem and as a launching point for all your coffee endeavors! Then...on your way thru to buy coffee from one of the legendary roasters, you will pick up some custom designed ninja-gear, coffee cups and other cool NNCC branded coffee items to facilitate your enjoyment of some of the best coffee in the universe!


Hopefully that clears things up a bit... now please, for the love of all things big and small... drink some delicious coffee and enjoy your Sunday!

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